I love views like this. It reminds me of how vast God is. There’s nothing He can’t handle. #NothingsTooHardForGod #SkyAsFarAsTheEyeCouldSee
When I was younger my mother used to say to me “God hung the stars on nothing. You think He can’t handle your problems?”
Each day that passed the weight of the production costs, the lack there of and the fact that we were losing time began to wear on me. I began to pray, but a little differently this time. Instead of focusing on the issues my mother and I faced, I focused on the heavens and the earth that God created. I opened up the first chapter of the book of Genesis, a very familiar text to most, but one certainly worth reading again when problems seem too much to handle.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
I began to meditate on the works of God’s hands. It then occurred to me the absurdity of our worries. The bible doesn’t give an explanation as to how God created the heavens and the earth. It just says that He did and that He began to speak things into existence. He created something out of nothing. Our issues are all so miniscule when compared to God. He could turn things around in an instant. I stopped worrying about how God was going to work everything out for us and focused on the fact that God was going to work everything out for us.
When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
Don’t look at the end result. Look at God.
My mother and I knew that the vision that God gave to us would come to pass. It was just a matter of time. But with each passing day I was beginning to get impatient. God had given my mother and I this sitcom years ago. Since then, it’s been one emotional roller coaster with all the ups and downs. It was causing both of us to grow weary. The amount of time it took to get this far and the uncertainty of how much longer it would take to get things off the ground frustrated me personally. I was driving myself crazy trying to speculate when our big break was going to come. Sometimes I would get myself into trouble trying to rush the pre-production phase with sights of the end of this journey in view. But I couldn’t rush God’s plan. No one can. That’s when I decided to take things one day at a time. Each day I lay my concerns at God’s feet and ask God what He would have me to do today. Accomplishing what God wants me to accomplish on a daily basis makes my journey more joyful. Instead of trying to estimate when the completion of the project will be, I focus on God. At the end of each day I thank God for bringing my mother and I one day closer to the goal He has set for us.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of Law Depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Writing a sitcom seemed so far off from what I was doing. But I had no doubt that God said it and I was determined to do just what He said. But then I got a direct message from a rap artist named Tally P and he was interested in an interview. Excited, I quickly sent him a message back and arranged an over the phone interview. So there I was writing an article and I assured God I would get to what he told me to do eventually. And I was genuinely confident that I would. But after I got through with that article, I got a phone call from my cousin. She told me that Wanda Armour, the mother of Mindless Behavior’s artist “Prodigy” was interested in an interview about her new book. Again, I assured God that I would get to writing that sitcom just as soon as I interviewed Armour and posted it to my website. And I had every intention to do just that. I shot her publicist an email, arranged an over the phone interview and wrote the article.
Never put off what God has instructed you to do.
God allowed me to post the article to my website but then after that boom! He shut my whole operation down. I got a virus on my laptop. Until I got the money to get it fixed, I was left with nothing but a pen and a notebook to write the sitcom that God wanted me to write in the first place.
Walk even when the way is not clear.
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
At this time I was trying to get Ayana Productions on television. I was confident that if we got on television and got some more eyes on us, we would be sure to make a profit. So I drew up a proposal and made a reel. I sent it out to WKBT and NYC TV. But I hadn’t received any replies to my emails. At this point I didn’t know what else to do or where else I could turn. It was back to the drawing board again it seemed. I went to God in prayer and told God that it felt like I hit a brick wall. My worry and concern only grew when I didn’t hear from God or at least feel Him right away. As the days passed it was business as usual. My mother and I covered events like the Mental Health Association of NYC “Where there is Help, There is Hope Gala, the Live From T5 Goodie Mob concert, the Urban World Film Festival and the United Cerebral Palsy of NYC 4th annual Santa Project and Auction. While editing one of the shows I made a terrible goof with one of the kyrons and another one during the ins and outs. I decided to take a break and do some yard work. For some reason gardening relaxes me. And just as softly as the wind blew across my face, I heard God say “It’s time to change the direction of the company. I want you to write a sitcom.”
It seemed all throughout my career, my in between jobs seemed insignificant. Family and friends always had a way of making me feel that what I do is not important. Before I knew it that way of thinking trickled down into the way I felt about my purpose for God because I felt insignificant. Because I wasn’t making a certain amount of money, I felt insignificant. Because I hadn’t acquired a certain amount of materialistic things I felt insignificant. Before I knew it I stopped fellowshipping with God and was back to doing my own thing. I tried to take matters into my own hands by trying to acquire a job that the world considered significant but was nothing more than a mere whim of selfish ambition to God. I had been tricked by the enemy.
If you only knew how significant you are to God’s plan.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
To commemorate my 30th birthday here’s 30 pieces of advice I would have given to my younger self.
1. Genuine love IS worth waiting on.
2. Put it in God’s hands.
3. Relax God is in control.
4. If you’ve done your best there’s no sense in beating yourself up over it if it didn’t work out.
5. Always look at the bigger picture.
6. In tough times ask God what He wants you to learn from it.
7. You do more than most & work harder than you or others give you credit for. So it’s okay to have more fun!
8. You don’t have to make room in your life for ANYONE who is belittlingly you.
9. If the ball is in someone else’s court leave it there until they pass it back.
10. Open up your eyes and look around you. You’re holding it down.
11. Encourage yourself in the Lord more.
12. Let go of false guilt. Most of the time things are not what they seem.
13. Get back to basics. Spend time in prayer everyday.
14. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)
15. Celebrate you more.
16. If you think you’ve missed out on something…think again! God’s plan is perfect. His timing is perfect. It has no holes and no mistakes. So if you missed out on it rest assured it was apart of God’s perfect plan.
17. Check up on and spend more time with your family.
18. Make more time for yourself.
19. And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)
21. Most of the time people are not who they’re cracked up to be. How many times have you discovered this to be true.
22. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you now. Have faith!
23. Go for what you want.
24. Do the things you enjoy more.
25. You know God’s voice by now so knock it off and listen!
26. Look less at your surrounding circumstances and more at God.
27. If you ever find yourself worrying about how you’re going to make it remember God said in His word that He would meet every need.
28. God doesn’t lie and He doesn’t go back on His word so hold on to the promises of the Lord.
29. Don’t just listen to the words…Peep the game.
30. Don’t quit God is not through with you yet!
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
I filed for unemployment some time ago. But I hadn’t heard from the Department of Labor regarding their decision about whether or not they approved my claim. I had been contemplating applying for a customer service position I saw on Craigslist at a digital printing company. But every time I tried to go through with applying, something on the inside of me told me not to. As the days passed, I got more and more anxious. Not hearing from the Department of Labor for so long was driving me crazy. The more I thought about applying for the job the more I heard God tell me not to. But according to my common sense I needed money and therefore I should apply. There was a war going on inside of me. Eventually my common sense got the best of me. I applied and got an email to come in for an interview. On the way to the interview, something said,
I disregarded it and went anyway. The interview went fairly well and I got the job. I discovered my unemployment insurance claim was approved on my start date. On my way there God warned me once more,
“Turn around and go back home.”
It troubled me but I brushed it off. My first few days were okay. My nerves were a little rattled because it was another office job and the one I was at before didn’t turn out too well. Fortunately for me there was another person in the office who worked with me and she answered any questions I had. Eventually I got the hang of things. But a few weeks later she resigned and the reason why God never wanted me to work there in the first place became more and more apparent. A small business, most times it was just the owner and myself there. There were times when I walked into the office and the owner undressed me with his eyes and as if that wasn’t enough he would sometimes say, “You’re looking sexy today.” It made working there so uncomfortable.
I thought about talking to him about it but with just me and him the office I felt that anything could happen. So I decided not to say anything. But one thing was for certain. I wish I would’ve listened to God. I regretted not doing what God asked me to do in the first place. Now here I was in another unfortunate situation, my unemployment gone all because I let my common sense undermine what God said.
I worked diligently to get my company off the ground, in order to get out of my current situation. While working there we had Actress Nhadya Salomon and Film Producer Rich McKweon on the show. But you better believe once my tax refund came I was out of there. I decided to live off of that until I figured out what my next move would be. We went on to cover the United Cerebral Palsy Women Who Care Luncheon and the Mental Health Association of New York City, Where there is Help, There is Hope Gala.