We had three shoots scheduled for the end of September and it was a rough summer. All except for one attempt I made to make money was successful. My mother took an unexpected pay cut. Every reason to give up and wash my hands of the show flooded my mind. I wanted to open up and talk to someone besides my fellow Producers about it. But I felt that those that I even considered speaking to would never understand. So I kept my mouth shut. I kept things between my fellow Producers and God. I began to question why I was even putting myself through this kind of stress. Overwhelmed, one day I opened my bible to Matthew 27.
Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!”
In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe him. He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God,’” In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.
Here Jesus was on the cross suffering physically. Then people began to insult Him and ridicule Him which caused him to suffer emotionally. On top of that they made it clear that they didn’t believe in Him which only added to the emotional hurt. On the outside looking in one might believe that it just would have been easier for Him to come down off the cross to put an end to His humiliation, His hurt and their doubt. He was fully capable of doing so. Yet He remained on the cross because He knew it was absolutely necessary. He was the ultimate sacrifice.
2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
If He didn’t sacrifice Himself we would be lost forever. He was motivated by love. His strength motivated me to surge forward. This was God’s plan for my life and I knew it would be successful. I’m happy to say that we taped the three shows and we are now halfway through the season. There will be times where it seems like it would be easier to just give up. When that happens ask yourself what motivates you. Remember if God made this kind of sacrifice and endured such suffering for you, there should be no reason why you shouldn’t do what He asks of you.
It seemed all throughout my career, my in between jobs seemed insignificant. Family and friends always had a way of making me feel that what I do is not important. Before I knew it that way of thinking trickled down into the way I felt about my purpose for God because I felt insignificant. Because I wasn’t making a certain amount of money, I felt insignificant. Because I hadn’t acquired a certain amount of materialistic things I felt insignificant. Before I knew it I stopped fellowshipping with God and was back to doing my own thing. I tried to take matters into my own hands by trying to acquire a job that the world considered significant but was nothing more than a mere whim of selfish ambition to God. I had been tricked by the enemy.
If you only knew how significant you are to God’s plan.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
To commemorate my 30th birthday here’s 30 pieces of advice I would have given to my younger self.
1. Genuine love IS worth waiting on.
2. Put it in God’s hands.
3. Relax God is in control.
4. If you’ve done your best there’s no sense in beating yourself up over it if it didn’t work out.
5. Always look at the bigger picture.
6. In tough times ask God what He wants you to learn from it.
7. You do more than most & work harder than you or others give you credit for. So it’s okay to have more fun!
8. You don’t have to make room in your life for ANYONE who is belittlingly you.
9. If the ball is in someone else’s court leave it there until they pass it back.
10. Open up your eyes and look around you. You’re holding it down.
11. Encourage yourself in the Lord more.
12. Let go of false guilt. Most of the time things are not what they seem.
13. Get back to basics. Spend time in prayer everyday.
14. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)
15. Celebrate you more.
16. If you think you’ve missed out on something…think again! God’s plan is perfect. His timing is perfect. It has no holes and no mistakes. So if you missed out on it rest assured it was apart of God’s perfect plan.
17. Check up on and spend more time with your family.
18. Make more time for yourself.
19. And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)
21. Most of the time people are not who they’re cracked up to be. How many times have you discovered this to be true.
22. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you now. Have faith!
23. Go for what you want.
24. Do the things you enjoy more.
25. You know God’s voice by now so knock it off and listen!
26. Look less at your surrounding circumstances and more at God.
27. If you ever find yourself worrying about how you’re going to make it remember God said in His word that He would meet every need.
28. God doesn’t lie and He doesn’t go back on His word so hold on to the promises of the Lord.
29. Don’t just listen to the words…Peep the game.
30. Don’t quit God is not through with you yet!