I love views like this. It reminds me of how vast God is. There’s nothing He can’t handle. #NothingsTooHardForGod #SkyAsFarAsTheEyeCouldSee
When I was younger my mother used to say to me “God hung the stars on nothing. You think He can’t handle your problems?”
Each day that passed the weight of the production costs, the lack there of and the fact that we were losing time began to wear on me. I began to pray, but a little differently this time. Instead of focusing on the issues my mother and I faced, I focused on the heavens and the earth that God created. I opened up the first chapter of the book of Genesis, a very familiar text to most, but one certainly worth reading again when problems seem too much to handle.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
I began to meditate on the works of God’s hands. It then occurred to me the absurdity of our worries. The bible doesn’t give an explanation as to how God created the heavens and the earth. It just says that He did and that He began to speak things into existence. He created something out of nothing. Our issues are all so miniscule when compared to God. He could turn things around in an instant. I stopped worrying about how God was going to work everything out for us and focused on the fact that God was going to work everything out for us.
When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
Don’t look at the end result. Look at God.
My mother and I knew that the vision that God gave to us would come to pass. It was just a matter of time. But with each passing day I was beginning to get impatient. God had given my mother and I this sitcom years ago. Since then, it’s been one emotional roller coaster with all the ups and downs. It was causing both of us to grow weary. The amount of time it took to get this far and the uncertainty of how much longer it would take to get things off the ground frustrated me personally. I was driving myself crazy trying to speculate when our big break was going to come. Sometimes I would get myself into trouble trying to rush the pre-production phase with sights of the end of this journey in view. But I couldn’t rush God’s plan. No one can. That’s when I decided to take things one day at a time. Each day I lay my concerns at God’s feet and ask God what He would have me to do today. Accomplishing what God wants me to accomplish on a daily basis makes my journey more joyful. Instead of trying to estimate when the completion of the project will be, I focus on God. At the end of each day I thank God for bringing my mother and I one day closer to the goal He has set for us.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
It was the end of the year and I had successfully finished racking up enough finances to produce the sitcom. My mother and I eagerly worked on camera directions to ensure that there would be no guess work when it came to shooting the various scenes of the sitcom. But by the beginning of the second month tragedy struck. We lost a very close member of our family. What makes things worse is that she was planning a huge event in a few months. It made me question why God would allow such a thing to occur without allowing her to complete such a great feat. It began to play on my psyche in ways unimaginable. What I was once confident God wanted me to accomplish became an uncertainty. Questions ran through my mind. Will I be able to complete the production of this sitcom and what if I don’t live to see it completed? The anxiety that came upon me caused me to stop the pre-production work. A few weeks later, I was on the Long Island Rail Road on my way to work. I took a seat in front of a man who looked to be in his late 50’s. His collar was unbuttoned and he glistened from the sweat on his brow and upper lip. I overheard the conversation he was having on the phone. By the tone of his voice I could tell he was in distress.
“I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier…It’s just that I worked so hard for so many years, for this business…I have my family and I just don’t want to go out like that…But if I have to I will…So that’s it…That’s how long I have…63”
I began to hear the man whimper. My heart went out to him. It sounded like the person on the other end of the phone told him he only had until the age of 63 to live. Immediately unbeknownst to him, I began to pray for him. I went on that day with that man’s situation on my mind. It didn’t help my anxiety one bit. The pre-production work remained at a halt. A month later I had learned that my mother lost a friend of hers. He was having complications with his heart and he didn’t know whether God was going to deliver him out of his illness or not. He spoke of a great work he wanted to complete for God and asked for the prayers of the saints for strength and deliverance. But God also saw fit to bring him home. My mind immediately went back to that man on the train and my family member. One didn’t know death would come, the other didn’t know whether or not God would deliver him and one knew death was coming. But they all had plans. Obviously it wasn’t God’s plan and although I know God’s plan is perfect, all I could see was loose ends. I needed answers so I prayed.
Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine will be done.
God brought to mind how He sent His only begotten Son to this earth to die for the sins of mankind. He knew He was going to die and at a young age at that. I began to imagine how He must have felt.
1 Timothy 3:16
And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness: God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, believed on in the world, received up into glory.
When Jesus Christ walked this earth He was 100% God and 100% man. Therefore He is touched with the feelings of our infirmities. I can only imagine that He was greatly concerned about His mother, His brother and whether or not He reached the people He needed to reach…Loose ends. But God made provisions for everything we feel is a loose end. Before He gave His life, He chose 12 disciples to continue to preach the gospel and when He rose from the dead, 500 people saw Him, reassuring them of the hope that lies beyond the grave. Because He rose we shall rise also. All these points helped me to trust God’s plan all the more. He tied up all loose ends while He walked this earth and He continues to tie up all of our loose ends even now.
“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of Law Depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Writing a sitcom seemed so far off from what I was doing. But I had no doubt that God said it and I was determined to do just what He said. But then I got a direct message from a rap artist named Tally P and he was interested in an interview. Excited, I quickly sent him a message back and arranged an over the phone interview. So there I was writing an article and I assured God I would get to what he told me to do eventually. And I was genuinely confident that I would. But after I got through with that article, I got a phone call from my cousin. She told me that Wanda Armour, the mother of Mindless Behavior’s artist “Prodigy” was interested in an interview about her new book. Again, I assured God that I would get to writing that sitcom just as soon as I interviewed Armour and posted it to my website. And I had every intention to do just that. I shot her publicist an email, arranged an over the phone interview and wrote the article.
Never put off what God has instructed you to do.
God allowed me to post the article to my website but then after that boom! He shut my whole operation down. I got a virus on my laptop. Until I got the money to get it fixed, I was left with nothing but a pen and a notebook to write the sitcom that God wanted me to write in the first place.
Walk even when the way is not clear.
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
At this time I was trying to get Ayana Productions on television. I was confident that if we got on television and got some more eyes on us, we would be sure to make a profit. So I drew up a proposal and made a reel. I sent it out to WKBT and NYC TV. But I hadn’t received any replies to my emails. At this point I didn’t know what else to do or where else I could turn. It was back to the drawing board again it seemed. I went to God in prayer and told God that it felt like I hit a brick wall. My worry and concern only grew when I didn’t hear from God or at least feel Him right away. As the days passed it was business as usual. My mother and I covered events like the Mental Health Association of NYC “Where there is Help, There is Hope Gala, the Live From T5 Goodie Mob concert, the Urban World Film Festival and the United Cerebral Palsy of NYC 4th annual Santa Project and Auction. While editing one of the shows I made a terrible goof with one of the kyrons and another one during the ins and outs. I decided to take a break and do some yard work. For some reason gardening relaxes me. And just as softly as the wind blew across my face, I heard God say “It’s time to change the direction of the company. I want you to write a sitcom.”
It seemed all throughout my career, my in between jobs seemed insignificant. Family and friends always had a way of making me feel that what I do is not important. Before I knew it that way of thinking trickled down into the way I felt about my purpose for God because I felt insignificant. Because I wasn’t making a certain amount of money, I felt insignificant. Because I hadn’t acquired a certain amount of materialistic things I felt insignificant. Before I knew it I stopped fellowshipping with God and was back to doing my own thing. I tried to take matters into my own hands by trying to acquire a job that the world considered significant but was nothing more than a mere whim of selfish ambition to God. I had been tricked by the enemy.
If you only knew how significant you are to God’s plan.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
To commemorate my 30th birthday here’s 30 pieces of advice I would have given to my younger self.
1. Genuine love IS worth waiting on.
2. Put it in God’s hands.
3. Relax God is in control.
4. If you’ve done your best there’s no sense in beating yourself up over it if it didn’t work out.
5. Always look at the bigger picture.
6. In tough times ask God what He wants you to learn from it.
7. You do more than most & work harder than you or others give you credit for. So it’s okay to have more fun!
8. You don’t have to make room in your life for ANYONE who is belittlingly you.
9. If the ball is in someone else’s court leave it there until they pass it back.
10. Open up your eyes and look around you. You’re holding it down.
11. Encourage yourself in the Lord more.
12. Let go of false guilt. Most of the time things are not what they seem.
13. Get back to basics. Spend time in prayer everyday.
14. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)
15. Celebrate you more.
16. If you think you’ve missed out on something…think again! God’s plan is perfect. His timing is perfect. It has no holes and no mistakes. So if you missed out on it rest assured it was apart of God’s perfect plan.
17. Check up on and spend more time with your family.
18. Make more time for yourself.
19. And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)
21. Most of the time people are not who they’re cracked up to be. How many times have you discovered this to be true.
22. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you now. Have faith!
23. Go for what you want.
24. Do the things you enjoy more.
25. You know God’s voice by now so knock it off and listen!
26. Look less at your surrounding circumstances and more at God.
27. If you ever find yourself worrying about how you’re going to make it remember God said in His word that He would meet every need.
28. God doesn’t lie and He doesn’t go back on His word so hold on to the promises of the Lord.
29. Don’t just listen to the words…Peep the game.
30. Don’t quit God is not through with you yet!