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Strain Toward What Is Ahead
Not knowing how I would pay my bills and not staying in the same place for too long was starting to wear on me. The jobs I found on Craigslist never lasted that long, so I didn’t want to search for employment there anymore. I prayed and asked God to show me how I could make money through Ayana Productions. It wasn’t absolutely necessary for me to be rich, but I wanted to make enough money to at least sustain me. But with each passing day, the weight of the bills increased on my shoulders. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and there I was looking for another job on Craigslist.
I landed a gig working for a non-profit organization raising funds to prevent companies from lobbying politicians in order to continue fracking. I worked outside. Which was fine except it was the dead of winter, and it was unforgivably cold outside. Putting in an eight-hour shift asking people for donations didn’t exactly make me enthusiastic. Most people didn’t want to stand outside and talk to me about the environment, much less anything else, and I know because I used to be one of them. I used to be one of the people too busy to stop and listen to what somebody had to say. Now I was on the other side of the fence. The people who I came in contact with either scurried inside to their offices or to a nearby café to get a nice warm drink. But it wasn’t all bad. I did get a few donations. Unfortunately, it wasn’t up to company standard so…You guessed it. I got laid off. This time, I was quite relieved because I didn’t have to stand out in the cold asking complete strangers for donations any longer. In the end, what was facing me was the task God wanted me to complete a few months back, and that was to finish typing the feature film script my mother wrote.
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold for that which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
What do Recessions or Revolving Doors have to do with what God promised you? Nothing…Trust Him
Eventually my bills and worries got the best of me. So I decided to get another job to help supplement the income I was getting from the Amsterdam News. I needed money and fast, so I applied to a number of jobs on Craigslist. I found a gig as a telemarketer at a company that was a little less than trustworthy. Who am kidding? The company was flat out shady. At this particular job I had to do a lot of cold calling selling subscriptions to a social network. And as if that wasn’t nerve racking enough, I had to build up enough rapport, so that by the end of the conversation, the client would trust me with their credit card information. Needless to say, the turnover rate there was a high one. People would come and go so much that it created a deep anxiety within me. I constantly wondered if I would be the next to get laid off. The job also conflicted with the stories I had to cover at the Amsterdam News. There were many times where I couldn’t even arrange over the phone interviews. My schedule just didn’t coincide. Slowly but surely my writing for the Amsterdam News decreased. Then my editor stopped contacting me. I guess she assumed I was too busy with my new job. I got accustomed to getting a steady pay check so I never followed up with her either. But I made a long lasting relationship with two publicists. They constantly invited me to their events and I covered them when I could. I tried offering the stories to the Amsterdam News, but I got no response. By this time, the work that needed to be done for Ayana Productions had completely fallen off and I hardly prayed anymore. I was too busy trying to get by lines into Amsterdam News and keep my job at this shady company. One day I got called into the conference room about the sales I was making. You guessed it. I wasn’t making enough. Instead of taking it to God in prayer, I grew more and more worried. My blood pressure increased tremendously. I started selling Avon products as a back up to my back up job just in case they decided to lay me off.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.
Sometimes Satan can influence people and get them to influence you to get you off the track that God originally wanted you on.
As previously stated, people were being fired left and right. One day, a co-worker of mine started talking to me about a network marketing company that he was involved with. The sales I was getting at Avon weren’t all that great, so I went to a few meetings with him, and before I knew it, I was an independent business owner at this company I had to pay weekly dues to. While I believe my co-worker meant well in what he was doing, I don’t think that was the direction God wanted me to go into. So here I was with four different jobs. My focus was completely taken off of Ayana Productions, all because I let my fear dictate my actions.
Then I got laid off. I had to let Avon and the network marketing business go. You want to know what was left? Ayana Productions and the relationships that I developed with the two publicists’ I met through Amsterdam News. God always has a way of getting you back on the right track.
Take a chance and fall back into Him
Sometimes when God wants to make a change in your life, He makes you uncomfortable with where you are.
“You still work here?” a client of mine said to me in disbelief. Lowering my head in shame I replied, “Yes.”
I applied to what felt like every job in the book but I got no response. A recent college graduate, I felt helpless. I was fed up and knew it was time for a change. Months later, I was having a really tough day at work. I
passed one of my co-workers and grumbled under my breath “I’m so sick of this job.” Then she stopped me and asked me “Do you think God wants you to be unhappy with your job?” I shook my head no. “Then you need to take a chance and fall back into Him.” At that moment I felt God tug at my heart. It was undeniable.
I went home that day extremely excited with those words ringing in my mind “Take a chance and fall back into Him.” Not sure what my first course of action would be, I decided to pray. I expressed to God that I was at my wits end. I told Him that I shook every tree and I didn’t know what else to do.
Matthew 7:7
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
I was praying every day and it wasn’t that God wasn’t answering me. I just couldn’t believe the answer. I never considered starting my own media company. I didn’t have a lot of money, limited equipment and I was afraid. But I stepped out on faith anyway, quit my job and covered my first event in New Orleans, Louisiana…The 2011 Essence Music Festival.
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