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The Road to Success is no Straight Line
Walk even when the way is not clear.
Hebrews 11:8
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
At this time, I was trying to get Ayana Productions on television. I was confident that if we got on television and got some more eyes on us, we would be sure to make a profit. So I drew up a proposal and made a reel. I sent it out to WKBT and NYC TV. But I hadn’t received any replies to my emails. At this point, I didn’t know what else to do or where else I could turn. It was back to the drawing board again, it seemed. I went to God in prayer and told God that it felt like I hit a brick wall. My worry and concern only grew when I didn’t hear from God or at least feel Him right away. As the days passed, it was business as usual. My mother and I covered events like the Mental Health Association of NYC, “Where there is Help, There is Hope Gala, the Live From T5 Goodie Mob concert, the Urban World Film Festival, and the United Cerebral Palsy of NYC, 4th annual Santa Project and Auction. While editing one of the shows, I made a terrible goof with one of the kyrons and another one during the ins and outs. I decided to take a break and do some yard work. For some reason, gardening relaxes me. And just as softly as the wind blew across my face, I heard God say, “It’s time to change the direction of the company. I want you to write a sitcom.”
If You Had Any Idea How Significant You Are To God’s Plan
It seemed all throughout my career, my in between jobs seemed insignificant. Family and friends always had a way of making me feel that what I do is not important. Before I knew it that way of thinking trickled down into the way I felt about my purpose for God because I felt insignificant. Because I wasn’t making a certain amount of money, I felt insignificant. Because I hadn’t acquired a certain amount of materialistic things I felt insignificant. Before I knew it I stopped fellowshipping with God and was back to doing my own thing. I tried to take matters into my own hands by trying to acquire a job that the world considered significant but was nothing more than a mere whim of selfish ambition to God. I had been tricked by the enemy.
If you only knew how significant you are to God’s plan.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
30 Pieces of Advice I Would Have Given To My Younger Self
To commemorate my 30th birthday here’s 30 pieces of advice I would have given to my younger self.
1. Genuine love IS worth waiting on.
2. Put it in God’s hands.
3. Relax, God is in control.
4. If you’ve done your best, there’s no sense in beating yourself up over it if it didn’t work out.
5. Always look at the bigger picture.
6. In tough times, ask God what He wants you to learn from it.
7. You do more than most & work harder than you or others give you credit for. So it’s okay to have more fun!
8. You don’t have to make room in your life for ANYONE who is belittling you.
9. If the ball is in someone else’s court, leave it there until they pass it back.
10. Open up your eyes and look around you. You’re holding it down.
11. Encourage yourself in the Lord more.
12. Let go of false guilt. Most of the time, things are not what they seem.
13. Get back to basics. Spend time in prayer every day.
14. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)
15. Celebrate you more.
16. If you think you’ve missed out on something…think again! God’s plan is perfect. His timing is perfect. It has no holes and no mistakes. So if you missed out on it, rest assured, it was a part of God’s perfect plan.
17. Check up on and spend more time with your family.
18. Make more time for yourself.
19. And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28)
20. Persevere
21. Most of the time, people are not who they’re cracked up to be. How many times have you discovered this to be true?
22. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you now. Have faith!
23. Go for what you want.
24. Do the things you enjoy more.
25. You know God’s voice by now, so knock it off and listen!
26. Look less at your surrounding circumstances and more at God.
27. If you ever find yourself worrying about how you’re going to make it, remember God said in His word that He would meet every need.
28. God doesn’t lie and He doesn’t go back on His word, so hold on to the promises of the Lord.
29. Don’t just listen to the words…Peep the game.
30. Don’t quit. God is not through with you yet!
You Know God’s Voice By Now. Stop Doubting And Believe
John 20:27
Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
I filed for unemployment some time ago. But I hadn’t heard from the Department of Labor regarding their decision about whether or not they approved my claim. I had been contemplating applying for a customer service position I saw on Craigslist at a digital printing company. But every time I tried to go through with applying, something on the inside of me told me not to. As the days passed, I got more and more anxious. Not hearing from the Department of Labor for so long was driving me crazy. The more I thought about applying for the job, the more I heard God tell me not to. But according to my common sense, I needed money, and therefore I should apply. There was a war going on inside of me. Eventually, my common sense got the best of me. I applied and got an email to come in for an interview. On the way to the interview, something said,
“Don’t go.”
I disregarded it and went anyway. The interview went fairly well, and I got the job. I discovered my unemployment insurance claim was approved on my start date. On my way there, God warned me once more,
“Turn around and go back home.”
It troubled me, but I brushed it off. My first few days were okay. My nerves were a little rattled because it was another office job, and the one I was at before didn’t turn out too well. Fortunately for me, there was another person in the office who worked with me, and she answered any questions I had. Eventually, I got the hang of things. But a few weeks later, she resigned, and the reason why God never wanted me to work there in the first place became more and more apparent. A small business, most times it was just the owner, and myself there. There were times when I walked into the office and the owner undressed me with his eyes, and as if that wasn’t enough, he would sometimes say, “You’re looking sexy today.” It made working there so uncomfortable.
I thought about talking to him about it, but with just me and him in the office, I felt that anything could happen. So I decided not to say anything. But one thing was for certain. I wish I would’ve listened to God. I regretted not doing what God asked me to do in the first place. Now here I was in another unfortunate situation, my unemployment gone all because I let my common sense undermine what God said.
I worked diligently to get my company off the ground in order to get out of my current situation. While working there, we had Actress Nhadya Salomon and Film Producer Rich McKweon on the show. But you better believe once my tax refund came, I was out of there. I decided to live off of that until I figured out what my next move would be. We went on to cover the United Cerebral Palsy Women Who Care Luncheon and the Mental Health Association of New York City, Where there is Help, There is Hope Gala.
Strain Toward What Is Ahead
Not knowing how I would pay my bills and not staying in the same place for too long was starting to wear on me. The jobs I found on Craigslist never lasted that long, so I didn’t want to search for employment there anymore. I prayed and asked God to show me how I could make money through Ayana Productions. It wasn’t absolutely necessary for me to be rich, but I wanted to make enough money to at least sustain me. But with each passing day, the weight of the bills increased on my shoulders. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and there I was looking for another job on Craigslist.
I landed a gig working for a non-profit organization raising funds to prevent companies from lobbying politicians in order to continue fracking. I worked outside. Which was fine except it was the dead of winter, and it was unforgivably cold outside. Putting in an eight-hour shift asking people for donations didn’t exactly make me enthusiastic. Most people didn’t want to stand outside and talk to me about the environment, much less anything else, and I know because I used to be one of them. I used to be one of the people too busy to stop and listen to what somebody had to say. Now I was on the other side of the fence. The people who I came in contact with either scurried inside to their offices or to a nearby café to get a nice warm drink. But it wasn’t all bad. I did get a few donations. Unfortunately, it wasn’t up to company standard so…You guessed it. I got laid off. This time, I was quite relieved because I didn’t have to stand out in the cold asking complete strangers for donations any longer. In the end, what was facing me was the task God wanted me to complete a few months back, and that was to finish typing the feature film script my mother wrote.
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold for that which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Restore Fellowship with God
By now, I had four shows under my belt. I felt pretty good about that considering the circumstances. But I couldn’t shake the anxiety that I felt every time I walked into that office. I told my friend about what I was going through and she talked me into working with her at her job. I thought to myself that anything would be better than what I was going through. Yet something in my gut told me working with her wasn’t a good idea. But I went to the job interview anyway and I got a position as a customer service representative. I put in my two weeks’ notice. However my anxiety attacks only increased when I started the other job. They were so bad that I couldn’t understand the work for the life of me. The pain in my stomach was so severe that I spent most of my time in the bathroom. I needed to get out and that’s exactly what I did. I left the job not sure about how I would pay my bills but the relief of not having to go back there ever again was so great none of the circumstances bothered me. I went home early and prayed for hours. I hadn’t prayed that way in a long time. My circumstances were so loud that I couldn’t hear God speak. The anxiety attacks, bills and concerns about my job consumed me so much so that I lost fellowship with God.
Never let your circumstances cause you to lose fellowship with God.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.
God gave me peace even in the midst of my extenuating circumstances. He gave me strength to carry out the next episode. I had the pleasure of having Actor and Model Jarrel Cudjoe on the next episode of the show.
Keep Your Eyes On God And He Won’t Let You Sink
Matthew 14:30-31
But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched out his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, why did thou doubt?
Unfortunately, I allowed my extenuating circumstances to take my mind off of Ayana Productions. The harsh reality was that bills were piling high. In addition to writing what was assigned to me, I covered anything that I thought would be of interest to the Amsterdam News in an effort to help make ends meet. But not all my stories made it into the paper. Eventually, things got so bad that I sometimes couldn’t afford to get to and from interviews. Those stories resulted in over-the-phone interviews. Constant fellowship with God was what got me through to this point, so I fell on my knees and I prayed. And I mean, I prayed hard. In the midst of prayer, God spoke to my heart and said, “Keep your eyes on me and I won’t let you sink.”
Knowing that God doesn’t lie or go back on His word, His word gave me a newfound strength. So I laid my circumstances at His feet, focused on God, and continued to work steadfastly despite the issues surrounding me.
Let the Chase Begin
When God says yes, don’t let anybody tell you no
Hebrews 10:36
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
On the verge of hitting rock bottom, I was naturally eager to speak to my new editor about my first news assignment. I got my writing samples, a cover letter, and my resume together. I sent it to her by email, assuming that she would get back to me right away. But then a day went by, and then another day. I didn’t hear from her. Two days can feel like a lifetime when you’re low on cash. So I decided to follow up with her by sending another email. Then another two days passed, and nothing. I certainly didn’t want to be a pest, but I didn’t exactly want to give up either. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what God was doing and why He was allowing this to happen. But one thing was clear. I know I heard God say Amsterdam News.
In prayer, I expressed to God that my back was against the wall and I was confused as to why things were going the way they were going. But God spoke to my heart and told me to keep trying. So I persevered, and a few more emails and telephone calls later, I got my first news assignment.
Less than Favorable Circumstances
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God has already prepared the way. All you have to do is trust and obey.
Psalm 145:13
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations.
The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made.
By now, I was down to a weeks’ worth of money, and my refrigerator stopped working. I had to get some form of income right away. I was in a place where I had to depend on God. Each day, I asked God for direction in terms of employment. Then, suddenly, one day, God whispered in my ear, Amsterdam News. You have to love it when God gets specific with you. I got to work right away. I prepared my writing samples and my resume, and I personally took it up to the office. I’ll never forget my first day there. Apparently, the staff was having some kind of celebration. I walked in on that hot July day, and right in front of me were staff writers eating cake, laughing, and talking. I hardly felt like this was the appropriate time to barge in with my resume and writing samples. But I had a limited amount of money, and I was in no position to be choosy about the circumstances. To my left, there were steps leading up to an office where there were staff members busy at work. I decided to take my documents there instead of the party. I explained to a gentleman there that I was looking for a writing position.
“Are you looking for an internship?” “No, I’m looking for a paid writing position,” I replied. “Well, you have to speak to the editors. I think they should still be downstairs.” One of the interns nodded their head in agreement. “Yeah, try talking to Elinor. She’s the Editor in Chief.” I thanked him.
I turned around, and with every single step I took, I dreaded walking into that office, interrupting the celebration for my job search. I almost walked out and went back home. At the last minute, I turned back around. I knocked lightly on the side of the open door and apologized to the woman sitting there. She was so laid back and down to earth. I never would have guessed that I was speaking to the Editor in Chief, Elinor Tatum. With her mouth full of cake, we had a brief conversation about my writing abilities. In the end, she suggested that I contact the hard news Editor. She handed the contact information over to me.
Continue Steadfastly
Maintain your God given purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles or discouragement.
I was riddled with doubt and under the attack of the enemy by the second episode of the my news & entertainment series. But the fact remained. My back was against the wall. I had shaken all the trees and had no other options. God was a the only way out.
James 1:12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Satan was beginning to attack my environment. I did just about all of my work from home and I was attempting to turn my basement into an office space. I moved my printer, my laptop, my desk and my equipment to the basement. Not long after, the basement began to flood more than ever before. Not willing to let it break my stride, I continued to work. But the opposition didn’t end there.
Unfortunately, on the street where I lived, I had some neighbors that were never that great at keeping their yard clean. But as soon as I began to do the work that God instructed me to do the litter they dropped increased. So much so that half the street was lined with trash. Pretty soon even the alleyway was overwhelmed with garbage. I mean chip bags, candy wrappers, soda cans, beer cans, you name it. Some of my other neighbors and I tried to clean up the trash but it became too much for us to keep up with. Before I knew it, the street was being overrun by wild animals. I could hear them scratch on the walls while I was trying to work. It was nerve-racking.
I decided the best thing to do was move everything back upstairs and pray. By now the fact that I had wild animals that seemed to be hell bent on getting into my home, my depleting funds and the possibility that perhaps I shouldn’t have quit my job seemed too much to bare.
1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I prayed and laid my worries and concerns at God’s feet. It was a definite relief. I then made more of an effort to look at God and not the circumstances. It was then that God renewed my strength and I was able to cover a Guinness Book World Record event of the world’s largest piñata and tour the Air and Space Intrepid Museum.
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